BOLD LOVE

I love my son. There is nothing in the world I want more than for him to love the Lord and try his best at everything he puts his hand or his mind to. I want the very best of everything for him. I want him to find a beautiful, wise and respectful wife. I want him to have many faithful and obedient children, to whom he can pass on the faith. I want him to know that I love him and would gladly give everything I am or have for him  - and I want him to EXPECT - that I would support and HELP him in his pursuit of these, or ANY other good thing. I feel the same way about my wife and daughter.

Much like his dad, my son fails on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately, his struggles are some of the very same behavioral issues that I have had to wrestle with my entire life. One needs not wonder where he inherited these habits from.

Both my son's failures, and my own, result in strife and separation from those we love. We in effect "remove ourselves" from healthy and wonderful relationships, and isolate ourselves in our pride and disobedience. It is like a dark storm cloud has settled over those relationships; and that cloud remains, with varying intensity until the storm passes. We still love and are loved, but things are not right, not until we "clear the air."

Even if my son and I are at odds with each other: I would still do anything I could to help and encourage him to obtain the BEST God has for him. If my wife and I are in the middle of a heated argument: I still would gladly give my life to protect and defend her. If my unmarried daughter got pregnant and then aborted her unborn child, I would STILL hold her in my arms and tell her I loved her, even though she could not UNDO this terrible thing.

MY WIFE AND CHILDREN CAN REST IN MY UNWAVERING, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO IT!
MY WIFE, MY SON, MY DAUGHTER - CAN COME TO ME AT ANY TIME 

-  BOLDLY -

EXPECTING ME TO HONOR MY COMMITMENTS TO THEM - 

REGARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

 IF WE CAN FEEL THIS WAY TOWARDS EACH OTHER - WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT OUR OWN HEAVENLY FATHER WOULD NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY TOWARDS US?

In fact, He does - and tells us so, many times in the pages of Scripture.

 Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.  Hebrews 10:19-22

... according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him. Ephesians 3:11-12

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

If we are to be bold, we too must love boldly. Bold love involves risk. It can be misunderstood or even rejected. Bold love is a brave love. Bold love remains steadfast - regardless of the circumstances.  It is the love with which Christ loved us. It is the love which we are to return Him.
It is the love we must share with one another.

My son will always be my son, no matter what. My love for him will never waiver.

If we belong to Christ - God is our father, no matter what. 

His love for us will NEVER waiver. 

WE CAN, AND SHOULD, APPROACH HIM BOLDLY
WITH GREAT EXPECTATION OF RECEIVING HIS BOUNDLESS LOVE

I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. 

Jeremiah 31:3

... but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

Romans 5:8

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written,“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;  we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

Romans 8:35-39

  

DISARMING THE ENEMY WITHIN

As I stated in my last post, opposition to your beginning, and continuing on, the path to Bold Christian Manhood might come from the most unlikely of all places:

YOUR FAMILY and YOUR CHURCH.

No, you didn't misread that. It is unfortunately, true. What better way for our enemy, Satan, to discourage you and trip you up, than to pit THE VERY PEOPLE WHO WILL BENEFIT THE MOST from your efforts against you: to berate you, cast judgment on your motives, and accuse you of all sorts of domineering, chauvinistic, abusive, and "politically incorrect" behaviors. I pray this does not happen to you, because NOTHING is more discouraging than to have the people you love, the people you  worship with, the very people you desire to change for - crucify you.

Why would they do that? Well, lets face it, most bold men today are not truly Christian men, they are rather, ungodly, opportunistic and abusive men emboldened by a culture that demeans and devalues women. Any effort for a godly man to take his role as the leader of his family seriously, is in danger of being lumped in with these evil men.

 The last thing Satan wants is for you to lead your family in godliness. ANTICIPATE his moves against you. This is why it is imperative that you let you wife and children know your reasons for the change in your behavior, and your motives behind it. They need to understand - from the onset: that you are seeking genuine, Spirit-led change, that will strengthen your marriage and family. Also, discuss it (as a family) with another Christian couple, you love and trust, who understands your motives and can serve as prayer partners and support for you and/or family members and hold you all accountable to each other

Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up,

just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

If there is a men's group, or a women's group in your church - explain your desire to take up the mantle of leadership in your home - maybe, other men would like to join with you. I KNOW there are MANY Christian women who would welcome this in their homes and in their marriages. 

Men are looking for direction - and not just Christian men. A quick web search will show you many websites that purport to help men discover their "manliness."  Several of them are quite helpful in reminding men of forgotten skills, attitudes and manners. Others give unbiblical and even harmful advise. 

Beginning next week, and on subsequent Fridays, I will post some practical advice and tips for men regarding faith, family, fidelity, freedom - as well as parenting. In the meantime, please visit our main website: www.boldchristianmen.org and sign up for our free monthly newsletter. 
God Bless. 

  

EIGHT STEPS TO BECOMING A BOLD CHRISTIAN MAN

 "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and 

He will lift you up." James 4:10

Becoming a Bold Christian Man (a man that God can use - a World-Changing Man) is not Rocket Science. The steps one needs to take are easy to recognize - but extremely difficult to accomplish.  As with all "steps," there is a tendency to trip - and trip you will, my friend - often. The steps on this path can be treacherous. In fact, it is impossible to advance without the direct intervention of the Holy Spirit working daily in your life to transform you (mature you) into a man that is a blessing to his family, his church, and to God.

When I say it will be difficult, or even treacherous, I mean you should expect opposition - sometimes fierce - from the most unlikely of places: your family and your church. I will address this in the next post, but for now, let me list the steps.

1. MAKE SURE YOU ARE INDEED A CHRISTIAN.  If you do not belong to Christ: if you have not been washed in His blood, if you have not committed yourself to follow and obey Him - come what may, then you need to put your faith and trust in Him. If you have ANY doubts as to your position with Christ, please view THIS VIDEO we made several years ago. Then speak with your pastor, a Christian friend, or email us.
2. PRAY FOR GUIDANCE AND DIRECTION.  Often, as men, we just run with an idea. It's part of our nature: See Problem - Find Solution - Implement Solution. In the process, we often forget to ask God to direct us and help us. As we seek to become Bold Christian Men in our homes and in our churches, we need to spend some significant time, humbly on our knees in prayer.
3. LET YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, AND WHY. This is a most important step - do not skip it. Sit down with your wife and apologize to her for not being the leader you should have been. Tell her you plan on changing that. Explain your motive to her (that you desire to lead the family, by serving it) and remind her that you may fail along the way. Then, with your wife by your side, do the same with your children. 
4. CONTINUE TO PRAY AND READ GOD'S WORD DAILY. Seek out the Lord's help and guidance daily, by prayer and the reading of His Word.
   
5. START HAVING FAMILY DEVOTIONS.  Find the time, or MAKE the time to implement DAILY family devotions. If something in your schedule, or your family's schedule, is causing a conflict - eliminate it. Let your family know that Family Devotions is a "non-negotiable."
6. WATCH YOURSELF! Always - check how you are doing. Are you compassionate? Is your temper in check? Are you loving your family? Remember, you want to be a bold and godly leader, not a tyrant.
7. APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR FAILURES. They will happen. You will over-react. Over-step your bounds. You will blow it. Your wife and/or kids will see it. Apologize. Ask for their forgiveness. Ask for God's forgiveness and help. Then get up, dust yourself off and continue on the journey.
8. COMMIT TO IT - DON'T BACK DOWN. The Absolute Worst Thing You Can Do is to start this journey, then, after a wrong turn or two, you give up. Your wife and children can understand and forgive frequent failures - but they will not (and, indeed, should not) understand quitting. If you quit, you send a message loud and clear:  

This isn't working. I'm too busy. YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT.

Stay the course, men. Your wife, your children and the church need you. They are worth it. 

"Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, 

and He will do it." Psalm 37:5

"Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:3

Men: Walk Boldy

Sometimes, an idea will pop into my head.

It will nestle down in my brain and make itself right at home.

It begins to irritate me.

I know it is there - and it has stayed much longer than I expected.

It reminds me it is still lingering there at the most inopportune times.

It has overstayed its welcome.

It makes me uncomfortable, yet – it is my idea. It came to me. I “birthed” it. I nurtured it, however briefly, then intended to discard it when I deemed it  ”impractical,” but it doesn’t leave.

Eventually, I begin to think crazy and disturbing thoughts:   

Is this MY idea at all? 

Maybe, God put that idea in my head. Maybe, just maybe, God is trying to tell me something.

Perhaps, I need to act on this? 

ME!!??!!     Are you outta your mind! 

I do not have the time, energy, money, credentials, (fill in any other excuse here): ________________________ to undertake something like this!

I push the thought back - way back - into the dark recesses of my brain.  

It will NEVER get out of there, I chuckle to myself.

But it will not stay hidden. 

It comes back at me with a vengeance. 

“How dare you ignore me?!” it seems to say. 

 “I’m staying! So what are you going to do about it!?!?”

So here I am (along with my son, Caleb), creating and maintaining a website, writing articles and blogs to encourage men to live boldly for Christ; to become the leaders, husbands, fathers, sons, stewards, laborers, etc. that God wants us to be. 

Piece of cake?  NOT!

Something that our fathers possessed, has been lost. Many men today are attempting to recover from the world’s unrelenting, decades-long assault on manliness and manly behavior. Christian men too, have been wounded in this battle. Virtues like DUTY, SACRIFICE, HONOR, FAITH and FIDELITY have not been properly passed down to many of us in this, and the previous generation – and our marriages, families, churches, and world are suffering for it.

The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

 Men, if you claim the name of Christ; if you are indeed a “new creature;” then you MUST determine to rediscover, reclaim, and “put on the new man” (Ephesians 4:24)

The Bold Christian Man! 

The world is in dire need of Bold Christian Men.

I am humbled as I begin this undertaking. I am certainly not perfect.  Nor am I the "poster boy" for being a Bold Christian Man. I fail my God, my wife, my children. I fail myself. I fail often, and sometimes - I act more like a Self-Centered, Stubborn Man, than a Bold Christian Man. 

 So, I can not - I dare not, say as Paul does in 1 Corinthians 11:1-2,

"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ..."

However:

 I do belong to Christ, and I am confident that “He who began a good work in me, “will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)  

I hae been on this journey for many years. 

It has been a long and difficult road. 

One marked with many failures,

but gratefully, many more successes.

I have learned a few things along the way.

I still have some distance to go.

Perhaps, we can walk together for a while.

More to come…